Chapter 10- The Real World Shanghai Edition

The next day, we met the rest of the foreign staff, “The Americans”, as we called them. The school puts all non-Chinese teachers in the same building. It was a little bit like The Real World. I’m just waiting for someone to hook up with someone and someone to come out as gay.

My next door neighbor is this bubbly brunette girl from the Tennessee named Allison. She was real friendly and spoke like a true Southern gal y’all.

She was friends with this tall lanky white guy called James. He was so shy, and so skinny, and oh so white. Leslie and John called him ET. Poor guy, I really quite like him.

Across the hall lived Alan, who was here last year as well. We all thought he was of Indian heritage, but turns out he was actually a mix of Caucasian and Pilipino. He hooked up with this other teacher last year, who I later on found out was actually bi-sexual, and totally hit on me, but that’s later. I secretly wondered if they are still dating.

There were also two black teachers. One of them a 40 something guy from the Caribbean. He would randomly burst out into a song and dance number while walking down the street. He was my favourite. I would often join him in his rendition of Someone Like You by Adele.

The other black guy was from Virginia, and born in the same year as me. When I first laid eyes on him, I thought, WOW he was just SO. EFFING. HOT.

And I never think of guys like that! The last guy that I thought was somewhat good looking was that dude from Avatar. See! I didn’t even care enough to look up his name! Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am a lesbian after all.

Ahem. There were a lot more foreign teachers but most didn’t live with us. Some were coupled up, so they moved off campus. One guy was rumored to have been kicked out for bringing too many strange women back. Yeah, white guys in China, more on that later.

I’ve never had the proper college experience. I went to a big commuter school, and didn’t really make friends until third year. I never did the living on campus, party all the time, sexual experimentation that was promised to me by countless Hollywood movies. And now here I am, surrounded by single 20, 30 somethings living in dorms (literally dorm rooms that they renovated for foreign teachers), always ready to go out drinking and partying.


And so that’s what we did on the second night there. We partied.

I must have been to one club in my entire last year in Shanghai, and that was when my ex boyfriend visited. He wanted to see the Shanghai nightlife, so we went to a club recommended by Frommer’s. We danced like nobody’s business, and left around 10pm.

This time, we went to so many clubs I honestly can’t remember where we went. I just know that we started at a bar called Windows, and ended up talking a bunch of Korean people outside on a couch somewhere.

In between, I remember the Hot Black Guy buying me drinks. Well ok, if you insist Hot Black Guy.

Many shots may have been poured, and somehow we ended up back on campus and making out in the hallways.

No, I did not sleep with him. And yes, he tried.

I went back to my own room, and immediately passed out.

The next day, we all met up properly in broad day night, sans alcohol.

This must have been the first time I heard him talk for longer than 5 minutes.

You know how some guys say “She was so hot until she opened her mouth.”?

Normally I’d say “Misogynist! Women Hater!” Now? Well…let’s just say it’s not gender specific.


So maybe we just call him Ron from now on.


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