It’s interesting how different people deal with breakups so…differently.
Helen’s method- Party as much as possible. Try to find new man ASAP.
Lucy- Deny breakup. Refuse to move out.
Ronnie & I- Wine. Girl talk. Dance it out!
The breakups have caused a Massive Group Divorce, and the girls got custody of me. The guys formed a “Guys Only Club” and the girls started a “Guys Suck Club”. From what we heard over the grapevines, the guys been enjoying their singlehood to the fullest, partying and picking up women on a daily basis. The girls however, have become a group of trash-talking, men-hating females.
“Expat guys go nuts here because most are losers who can’t get laid back home!”
“Here they could be ugly and poor, but Chinese girls will still throw themselves at expat men.”
These are common sayings in Shanghai, I did not make them up. I also don’t want to comment on the accuracy of these statements. Cough*kinda true*cough.
Ok, it’s obviously not fair to generalize, but a few (a lot) bad apples have given expat males a bad reputation. White males are indeed extremely popular with Chinese girls.
Because they are white.
How to explain…
Ok, imagine this: One day you’re just an average white Joe walking down the street of Kansas. Next day you’re the Justin Bieber of Shanghai, and every woman of every color is throwing themselves at you. It’s hard not to get a big head and a couple of DUIs…
I’ve seen my white male colleagues go through different women on a weekly basis, one of them was a grandfather. Another guy told me “I’d rather get an STD than a cold, because all it takes is a simple pill to cure it. Whereas colds can last weeks”. I instinctively sat further away from him.
What’s surprising is that ABC(American Born Chinese) males are just as popular if not more so. Not only are they Western educated, they are also Asian enough to bring home to mama. (J told me that it was indeed much easier for him to date in Asia. “White girls are just too tall!”)
So if you are an ABC male, you should definitely consider moving to Asia. You will do very well there…very well.
This may sound great, but the problem is that most young people that come here tend to get lost in this culture of indulgence.
No rules. No consequences. (For expats anyway.)
Unless one has a strong moral compass, it’s easy to forget your values and beliefs. Treating people like disposable playthings become second nature. This is not limited to the male gender. I can testify that at various points in Shanghai, I too had trouble recognizing the person in the mirror.
It’s just that for males, the temptations are stronger. Honestly if I was a hot-blooded young man, I’m not so sure that I won’t get lost in this sea of women! Fat Kid at a candy store remember? Women are like Skittles here. Wouldn’t you want to taste the rainbow too?
Sorry, just trying to get into the male mindset. Hey, I compared guys to chocolate bars, so it’s all good! Plus candy is delicious! 🙂
Lucy- “Lukas was so sweet and considerate when I first met him! How can he change so quickly? He’s only been in Shanghai for a few months!”
Me- “Shanghai is just that fast paced.”
Lucy- “Maybe I can change him back!”
Me- “Oh God! Don’t count on it. This is probably his true colors, he just never had a chance to show it before. I mean he’s so white and skinny! I can’t imagine him doing well with the ladies back home…”
Lucy- “He does look like a giant grasshopper…”
Lucy refused to accept that Lukas was a lost cause. Even though she told us that he’s been cheating on her with various girls, way before the breakup. I’ve seen so many men be unfaithful by then, that I became extremely jaded.
I told my friends in Canada “Men in Shanghai are all scum! I give up on dating here! Mark my words: I quit! I’m coming home to find a nice man and settle down!”
Then I thought about being unemployed in Canada.
I decided to stay another year.