Chapter 53- What’s love got to do with it

“You know, I’m kinda jealous.” Johan said to me half-jokingly while we snuggled on the couch.

“Of what?”

“That you went on that date, had this big revelation, and figured out exactly what you wanted.” He was referring to my date with Banana Bread Boy.

“Ha! Fine. I give you permission to go on ONE date with someone else.” I dared him. “Seriously! Go! I don’t want you like this!”

“Too late!” He clutched his chest in faked anguish. “I’m a kept man!”

I giggled and playfully nuzzled him on the cheek.

‘Exclusive dating’ is less exciting than it sounds. ‘Only seeing eachother’ meant we were doing exactly the same thing we were doing before: only seeing eachother.

Friday nights were spent on his couch with takeout and a movie.

Saturday mornings meant brunch with his sister, a stroll around town and house parties at night. Someone’s always throwing a house party somewhere in Shanghai.

Sundays I leave for Pudong, so we’d lie in bed and debate for hours about how best to spend it. Usually by the time we finish, it’s time for me to leave.

Then it’s count down until Friday again.

Who knew I could enjoy such simple pleasures so much? I always imagined love to be grand, the kind that takes place in the rain/airport when the protagonist finally realizes his/her feelings.


Wait, who said anything about love?

“What’s on your bucket list?” I asked, half-delirious because we ended up chatting until 5am…again.

“Which one? I have so many. Career? Life? Just for fun?” He responded while struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Just for fun.” I murmured.

He pondered for a moment then said “Kiss a stranger in the rain.”

“What!!!” I laughed, suddenly awake again. “Why does it have to be a stranger?”

“Because.” He replied “There’s something romantic about two complete strangers falling in love.”

“Love?” I gasped, then almost to myself “Love…. What’s love?”

“Don’t ask me…I’ve never been in love.” He rolled away from me.

“Wait!” I clawed to turn his face back. “Really? You’ve never been in love???”

“Nope.” He said.

I thought of my ex, Bob. “Me neither… ” I realized.

We went on to discuss “Love” and all of its meanings.

“I think it’s a feeling. You should just know.”

“I think Love is built over time, when someone sticks by you through the thick and thins.”

Which led to the discussion of our exes. I found out he dated two girls before me. His friend’s cousin which I already knew of. The other one was Japanese.

“We only dated for 2 months.”

“Why did you break up?”

“She left for the London school of Economics.” He answered.

Son of a bitch! Freaky(well…you know em Japanese girls.) and smart!

“She sounds lovely.” I said.

She sounds like a bitch, I thought.

“Yeah, she was really ambitious.” He said as he wrapped his arms around me again.

In the words of a friend: I hope she gets a yeast infection.

“Yeah, I’m nothing like that.” I said non-chalantly, trying not to care.

“I’ve noticed. You’re not very ambitious at all.”

I furrowed my brows, not sure how to react to what sounded like an insult.

“Nope, I’m not! What’s wrong with that?” I started to get defensive.

Nothing. I just always thought I’d be dating the artsy type who’s all Gung Ho about stuff.”

Gung ho…what the fuck does that even mean? I’m pretty sure the Americans stole it from the Chinese.

“Although…my ex would probably disagree with you. He thinks I left him for my career.” I chuckled at the thought.

“Can I ask you a question?”


“Are you sure you’re over your ex? Because you bring him up a lot.”

I do???

“I do? I didn’t realize…” I felt puzzled.

“I mean, I am over him for sure. ” I continued. “I guess when you’ve only had one major relationship, it’s hard not to compare…”

“No problem. I was just wondering.” He yawned and buried his face in my neck.

Note to self: Stop bringing up exes. His or mine.


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