“You never hang out with us anymore!” complained Jenny.
Remember my co-worker Jenny? Yeah, I haven’t talked about them for awhile. So I guess her comments were warranted.
What can I say? I got sick of going to Monday Blue Frog night (buy one get one burger and drinks), Tuesday Teacher’s nights (free drinks for teachers), Thursday Margarita night (half off drinks) and Friday Drinks (no discount? Well, drink anyway!).
Chalk it up to my Asian genes, but I simply cannot drink and still function at work the next day. I assume office workers do it all the time. Just keep a spreadsheet open in case your boss passes by, while silently cursing the Gods for tequila. “Why God Why!” As a teacher however, I have to be on all the time! I cannot be a dancing monkey after binge drinking TsingTao beer the night before.
“Oh, I got better friends.”
“Oh I said Poppycock! I was at Blue Frog!”
“Yeah you ate your burgers in 5 minutes and left! Btw, you owe me money.”
Dammit, she remembered.
Jenny continued, “Well, Allison got tickets to a boat party this Saturday. So you need to tell her if you wanna come.”
“Oooooh! I’ll take 4!”
The theme of the boat party was Shanghai in the 1920s. Guys had to wear tuxes (which meant most will wear a dress shirt) and girls were to wear Qipaos.
Qipaos are these incredibly form fitting dresses that Catwoman would wear to a Christmas party. No, none of us owned one.
Therefore, Jenny, Allison and I went to The Science and Tech Museum to shop for Qipaos. Yes, we shop in museums.
Fine, I’ll explain. Science and Tech is a metro station that contains an underground fakes market.
What’s a fake market?
Ugh! So many questions!
A marketplace popular in Asian countries, where shops sell Fake brand names goods such as Fake Guccis, Fake Pradas and other merchandise in hopes that foreigners are suckers and would be willing to shell out 100-200 times the actual worth.
No more questions!
So, after 3 hours of haggling and 2 fist fights, we all managed to find Qipaos that we were happy with.
I take back what I said before. Qipaos are actually quite flattering on all body types. Jenny is a tall tree branch (I’m so jealous), Allison is curvy, and I’m tiny little Asian lady. I don’t know if it’s the cut or the style, but these Chinese dresses made all of us look bootylicious in our own ways. If you ever visit China, go get one!
Come Saturday night, we all got dressed up and the Real World Shanghai Gang (aka. The teachers) cabbed there together.
I’ve never had a bad experience with boat parties. Trapped on a boat + Complete Strangers + Alcohol = Guaranteed Good Time.
Surprisingly, all the guys were dressed in suits, but most of the girls were NOT wearing Qipaos! Boo! Kick ’em off the boat!
Well maybe not, coz being one of the few girls wearing Qipaos got me A LOT of attention!
Like the social butterfly that I have become, I fluttered around and flirted with many handsome strangers. They were definitely all Leos, Brads and George Clooneys after 5 cosmopolitans.
Oh and did I mention that I have yellow fever?
My friend said it is not yellow fever if I like my own race, so that is up for debate. But basically you could be the George Costanza of Asian men, I’d still probably find you more attractive than most!
It is mainstream belief that most girls feel the opposite way, so I thought it is worth interrupting the post to share that piece of revolutionary information. Hang in there guys! There’s hope after all!
Anyway, I spent a majority of the night flirting with this tall Asian guy from New Zealand, who Allison later described as a “Tall handsome glass of water”.
We talked, danced then exchanged numbers at the end.
After texting back and forth for a day or two, I decided to ask him his age.
“So you kind of have a babyface, are you as young as you look?” I wrote.
“It depends what you think is young.” He texted back.
“Well, I’m 26. Please tell me you’re not like 21 or something!”
“I’m not.” He replied as I let out a sigh of relieve.
Then after a few seconds, he typed: